Beyond Tolerance: Moving Ahead Together
A Community-wide Conference Organized by the Santa Barbara School Districts
June 28, 1997
Judith Stotland, Executive Director of the Santa Barbara Jewish Federation
As the Executive Director of the Santa Barbara Jewish Federation, the sponsoring organization of the Anne Frank in the World Project, I offer a Jewish perspective on the subject. As a member of the Not In Our Town Coalition, and as a former advocate for families of persons with disabilities and survivors of sexual harassment or assault, I bring a variety of perspectives to this subject. The underlying commonality of the experience of intolerance of many of those with whom I have worked is what happens when you take away someone’s face. We need to see the people behind the stereotype.
Washington State experimented with a remarkable confrontation. Convicted rapists were brought together with women who had been raped. As the women confronted these men with what had been done to them, the men began to share that they didn’t know what their victims looked like. I find this a powerful image. No two people are in closer physical contact than a rapist and his victim, yet for these men, even a woman they knew previously was unrecognizable.
This is not exactly news to hatemongers; 50 years ago the Nazis knew that civilized Germans would never kill their neighbors. Jews had to be differentiated, kept out of schools, made to walk in the street, made to wear identifying badges, made the butt of jokes and assorted humiliations, and finally removed from sight before they could be exterminated. Thirty years ago our military created pejorative terms for whichever group was the enemy; it is easier to kill a stigmatized mass than a human. Three years ago, an African American youth at San Marcos High School "knew" that his existence was dependent on keeping his head down when a certain gang came by – he had to remove his face from view!
An effective weapon against racism therefore is to put a face on its victims. That is why Anne Frank has captured the world’s imagination so powerfully. Who could possibly want to harm an innocent 13-year-old girl?
A young survivor of the holocaust returned to his country after the war. The killing was over but the prejudice was not, and he was attacked by all his classmates, led by one bully. The teacher, without the advantage of multicultural diversity training, stood the bully and the survivor before the class, and asked the students to tell her what the differences were between the two boys. This discussion lasted an hour, after which the bully became this survivor’s protector, and the teacher became the survivor’s hero for life. The keys were that the teacher acted immediately, stating that this behavior was unacceptable, and showed the class their common humanity.
The experience of being the target of racism is devastating. It leaves an individual with the idea that he or she is not equal to the perpetrator, she is not to be taken seriously; he is not to be valued. Even when it happens to other members of one’s group, a message is sent that weakens self-esteem, confidence and academic performance. Targets may feel uncomfortable and annoyed, embarrassed, humiliated, degraded. They may feel disgusted, helpless and unsure how to respond. They may feel angry, insulted, and fearful of violence. They may also feel guilty or blame themselves. They may not report unless it is severe. While not condoning the behavior, they may accept it as "the way things are." They often feel that nothing will be done, no one will take their complaints seriously, or retaliation could be worse.
Perpetrators also are adversely affected by their actions. Those who are allowed to act with impunity are learning a behavior that will interfere with their ability to succeed in the world of work.
Jews have been dealing with the problems of intolerance for centuries. There are those who tell me that these problems are history. I cannot agree. I know that Jews were integrated into the German society of World War I much as they are here today; the potential for harm is always present. Many Jews in Santa Barbara today have fear of being so identified. Some of us have the ability to "disappear" into the dominant society, and have chosen to do so, but at a price. you cannot run from who you are or where you come from. For us to fit, we must lose some or all of our identity. For example, for myself and others in this room to be here today means we have to violate our Shabbat. And yet the organizers could not come up with an alternative time that would draw so many people. The Santa Barbara Jewish Federation distributes this calendar of Jewish holidays to the schools with an appeal that they try and avoid scheduling important conflicting events on our holy days. This past fall, UCSB freshman move-in occurred on Yom Kippur, the most important of Jewish holidays. Earlier this month, a member of my organization found herself in a difficult situation: how could she attend her children’s school graduation on Shavuot, the holiday commemorating the giving of the Ten Commandments? She wound up walking from her home on the Mesa to La Cumbre Middle School and then to San Marcos High so as not to dishonor the holiday or hurt her children or herself by missing their important day.
What solutions would I propose? First, I congratulate the Schools for the policies and procedure they have already put in place, and offer my hope and assistance in assuring their implementation. Each person here should think about what they can do to support these new initiatives. We in the community need to encourage those students who participate in SOAP and the other schools’ student programs of grassroots working and talking together.
I hope the training staff is to receive will encourage them to go beyond the formal structures now in place. Schools should not condone or ignore actions or words that a reasonable person would view as harassing or demeaning. It is no longer acceptable to dismiss an action as youthful hi-jinks, or to think the victim is overreacting or oversensitive. Education of potential perpetrators is better than prohibition, and multiple programs are better than individual ones. Informal options need to be available for those who do not wish to file formal charges against peers. Support services should be available to victims whether or not formal charges are brought.
There is work for us to do outside of school as well. We must create a culture of intolerance to treating people with disrespect. We changed people’s minds about smoking being attractive; we can do the same about racism. We need a critical mass of vocal supporters of tolerance to counteract what now prevails. We need to ban even the seemingly benign acts of hate. Joking is a time-honored way to mask hostility – cruelty by caricature. It takes courage to stand up to the first joke, and we should model that behavior ourselves if we want our children to live together in peace.
A society’s greatness is measured by how it treats its lowest member. We all are the other at some time in our life. We all know the pain of not fitting in. We have a choice to make: being different can either be interesting and enriching or divisive and polarizing.